January 25, 2011: Faith, Family & Friends

Judge people by their actions, not their words.

Judge situations and things by history, not knee-jerk reactions.

If you have a boss that screams at you, curses you and harasses you, even if he/she hides in sheep’s clothing for a time, it is still a vicious wolf.

If you have “friends” that bail on you when you actually need their support, only come to you when you have something they want and have never given anything to you without hope for receipt, they are not your friends.

If your significant other is all about them, their schedule, their time, their entitlements, their needs, their wants, this will never go away.

I may have a wall of apathy around my heart, but it’s not unbreakable. My daughter scales it every time with ease. But through the last several decisive, necessary years I have forged myself into Excalibur; a sword that cannot be broken, cannot be harmed, cannot be beaten and that can withstand any battle.

I cannot be cheated, snowed, sold, hurt, affected or moved by the things that once did. Some say that is no way to live, but I think it’s the only way.

Life is funny. People are fascinating. Teenagers think they have a clue about how life works, how love works. I just hit 30 and I probably still don’t have a clue.

But I have finally figured out what matters: FAITH. FAMILY. FRIENDS. The holy trinity of YOU.

And that’s real faith. Faith isn’t necessarily in a deity or an ideal, it is in something intangible that brings you strength.

Family isn’t necessarily a blood relative, it isn’t necessarily a parent or a child or a sibling. It’s who you unconditionally love, who you let in, who you are there for, no questions asked. It may be 1 person or 10, but these are the people who support your fortress when it is in danger of falling down.

Friends. My list has eroded, evaporated, dissipated greatly over the years. I thought at first this was a bad thing, but it is quite the contrary. The dead skin, dead weight, unnecessary fat has been shed and the bonds that endured and survived are the fittest.

There are no free rides in life. We are entitled to the pursuit of happiness, not happiness.

Those who do the most, invest the most and pledge the most of themselves get the most.

And it’s not about financial reward, about power, about fame. It’s about freedom, about knowing who you can trust, and about getting up every time you fall down or are knocked down.

It’s easy to complain or point fingers or play the blame game. It’s more difficult to look inside, evolve, and become the person you are meant to be.

People mock the rich and famous because it’s easy to sit on their couches and curse them from afar, but these mindsets come from their vast insecurities they are unwilling to claim.

Some praise the famous and wish they had it, but the famous have elements of that life they would certainly jettison.

And what of the actor or doctor or writer or director who is and will always be one inch away from the household names? Are they any less hard-working, deserving, talented?

In life, we have all been bestowed talents and gifts, whether we choose to use them, give them, show them or not. We will all be judged, whether you believe in a God or not; we are judged by time, by history, by memories. They are not all fair, they are not all kind, but in death, that journey is over.

That is why life is the ultimate gift. Some squander it like the paycheck they rush to spend. Some invest and hold on to it for far too long, never truly experiencing it.

I’m just now waking up to my potential and my talents and my journey at 32 years old. Faith, family and friends got me there, and they are the things I will never let go of.

How will history and your actions and your life define you? And how will you define them?

Time won’t tell. You will.

Carson V. Heady has written a sales/motivation/success book unlike any other, entitled “Birth of a Salesman” that has a unique spin that shows you proven sales principles designed to birth in you the top producer you were born to be. It is a how-to sell/career advice book inside a novel about the fictional author who practices what he preaches.

If you would like to strengthen your sales skills and learn life lessons from someone who stumbled and fell so you don’t have to, go to http://www.carsonvheady.com/